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[Intro] Gm [VERSE 1] Gm Bb/G Mary Long is a hypocrite C/G Gm She does all the things that she tells us not to do Gm Bb/G Selling filth from a corner shop C/G Gm And knitting patterns to the high street queue Gm Bb/G She paints roses, even makes them smell good C/G Gm And then she draws titties on the khazy wall Gm Bb/G Drowns kittens just to get a thrill C/G Gm And writes sermons in the Sun-day Chronicle [CHORUS] Eb Bb F C Gm How did you lose your virginity, Ma-ry Long ? Bb F C7 When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ? [VERSE-2] Mary told Johnny not to write such trash Said it was a waste of public money She made a fuss, they made apologies But everybody thought the show was funny When the nation knew you'd had children It came as such a surprise We really didn't know you'd had it in you How you did it we can only surmise [CHORUS] How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ? When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ? [VERSE 3] Mary Long, you're not alone But you're a long way behind our times What we do in full frontal view Is more honest than your clean-up mind What I'm saying, Mary Long is When you can spare a minute Go find your friend the porny Lord Dig your self a hole and jump in it [CHORUS] How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long ? When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long ?