[Intro]
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[Verse 1]
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He was playing pool and drinking beer
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Nothing more'n the occasional tear
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But this man's life goes on (and) he gets greased
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All over from time to time
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At the strip joint, where we met
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He said 'Hi, my name is Ted
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See that one over there
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That ball of thunder
E                     B
Every time she goes Vavoom
B
I wiggle in my chair
B                     E
Can I buy you a beer?
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What a guy
 
 
[Verse 2]
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'I've had a few myself' he said
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'But I never quit when I'm ahead
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Too many rules and regulations
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Stupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors
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And another thing I won't discuss is religion
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It always causes a fight
B
Vavoom
B
There she goes again
B                           E
'How does she do that' said Ted
 
 
[Instrumental]
D  C   x3
G  A  B
E
 
 
[Verse 3]
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And he told me of those injustices (that)
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He had suffered in his life
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His wife and kids and boss and dogs
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And neighbours raising cain and causing strife
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They were forever whining
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Bleating howling yapping screeching moaning crying
B
Vavoom
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He fed them well
B
He keep them warm
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Ted, Ted the mechanic!
 
 
[Verse 4]
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Thing about Ted he didn't really care
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Nothing much got in his hair
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And the beauty of it was that he was right
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He was big as a truck and fast as a door
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 (what's that?) he was always right
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The banjo player took a hike
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What's that song I used to like
B
Vavoom
B
Big as a truck
B                       E
He was fast as a door - Ted
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What a guy!
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Ted the man, our Ted
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Ted the man, our Ted
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Ted the man, our Ted
 
 
[Outro]
D  C   x3
G  A  B
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